My Story: An Introduction to Me, My Life and My ADHD
The first post on your blog is always awkward. What do you write about? You read all these guides on how to write the perfect first blog. You spend way too long deliberating on the perfect topic, title and agonize over every word. Especially as an ADHD mommy.
So here we go! My first blog for This ADHD Mommy.
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A Bit About Me and ADHD
I’m Tali. I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 8 and then re-diagnosed with Adult ADHD at 17. This was the messiest time in my childhood with huge amounts of change, trauma and as if G-d was really testing me he added an ADD diagnosis to it.
In some ways I was one of the lucky ones. Many girls and women are not diagnosed until later in life and usually after a lot of self-advocating with medical professionals.
I was very quickly put on to probably the most used ADHD medication in South Africa at the time (a journey I will share on this blog) and almost immediately my school work improved. But just as quickly I felt like a zombie, going through the motions of life.
I have struggled both with a medicated and unmedicated approach for almost three quarters of my life.
In my childhood I can remember feeling “less than” – I lost school work in the crumpled papers at the bottom of my school bag, spent hours making meticulous calendars and planners (all hand drawn and color coded as these were the days before computers and printers were widely accessible in South Africa) but I never stuck to a single one. My homework diary was a suggestion at best and once the medication wore off and I was at home I had no interest in learning for a spelling test until my mom started shouting.
My Journey with ADHD Medication
While my mom was all for me being medicated, my dad was not. Shortly after my parents divorced my mom moved to the UK. At the time ADHD medication in South Africa was limited to a small selection and it was exceptionally expensive. My dad took me off my meds and tried a number of natural supplements, which were not as effective.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve had an on-again off-again relationship with ADD medications. I have tried almost every one available, with varying degrees of success, but an even greater proportion of failures.
I’ve had doctors put me on doses of medication so high it pushed me into depression (which is a common side effect and co morbid disorder for people with ADHD). I’ve had some suggest ADHD management through diet without medication but very luckily I quickly learned to speak up for what I want, how the medications made me feel and what I felt was or was not working for me in that stage of life.
Finding My Calling & My Balance with Adult ADHD
From the little girl making planners and calendars in my grandfather’s study I found my calling. I knew that when I grew up I wanted to help others with ADHD manage their lives and their symptoms. When I finished school I studied Psychology and Teaching. I also continued to make planners, organizers, to do lists and trackers to help me manage my own ADHD (thank g-d for computers). In this process I found a time management and organizational system that worked for me – which I explain in another post.
I thought for the longest time that I was meant to go into educational psychology and help kids like me. Maybe one day I still will. But after a few heavy curveballs I’ve come to realize that it’s not the kids with ADHD that I need to help. It’s the ADHD mommies.
There is a huge number of women my age and older who’ve spent their whole life struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. This generation of women is known as the “Lost Girls”. Typically ADHD symptoms do not present in girls the same way as boys. This means they are not diagnosed with the disorder.
I still struggle with my ADHD and I’ve had 25 years to learn about it and learn to live and thrive with it, I can’t imagine what the women who’ve just been diagnosed in their late twenties, early thirties and beyond must feel.
So here I am – This ADHD Mommy that makes ADHD planners and tools for other mommies with ADHD.
